Thursday, October 21, 2010

"The thing was very bad in Abraham's eyes." - Parashat Va-yera

It has been three years since I began this blog.

Over the last few weeks, we have been following the narrative in the Torah of Avraham, the"father" of the Jewish people. On a strictly literal level he made some pretty serious errors that resulted in a change to his family.

Picture this..................

Abraham and his wife are on a vacation, the king takes one look at Abraham's wife, and Abraham is out the door. "Her? Na, she's my sister. No problem. I'll just pick her up in the morning."

or, even better ...........

Wordlessly, Abraham sends Hagar and Ishmael away. They find themselves stranded in the wilderness without water. Hagar tosses her son under a bush, because she cannot stand to see his death. Blinded by tears, she does not see a water source, until a messenger of God tells her to lift her eyes, and look. And this seeing closes the story, with Ishmael's life saved and his destiny assured.

And look at how that has turned out for us!

Even Avraham, the father of the Jewish people, had to adjust to the changes that affected his family.

It's been three years since I wrote "A family changed forever." Last night, I met with a couple whose son told them that he is gay. Their rabbi directed them to this blog and as a result of a business trip that brought me to their city, we were able to meet. We spent several hours together.

They are, where we were, three years ago.

This meeting has given me the opportunity to reflect on the last three years and where we are today.

As usual, a meeting like this is highly emotional and wrought with tears. We met in the evening, spent over two hours together, and as usual, I could not get to sleep, having relived the last few years. The sleep I managed to get lasted barely two hours as our discussion kept me from getting a restful sleep.

It's time to do a "cheshbon".

We are in a much better place today than three years ago. My son is doing well. He is actively pursuing his career as well as being a leading advocate for gay rights in the Modern Orthodox world. Our other children are doing fine as well. They are also actively pursuing their careers and moving on with their lives. We have tried to find as many opportunities as we could to bring everyone together as a family and I think we have succeeded at that. We make sure to spend every Pesach and Rosh Hashana together as a family.

Last month our kids made us a 36th wedding anniversary party. They invited friends and family who have been there for us over the years.

It was more than an anniversary party. They were making a statement.

They were exclaiming to the world in a clear and loud voice that we are doing just fine.

Be well.

Saul David


Anonymous said...

Belated anniversary wishes - double Chai!
You are truly blessed.

Anonymous said...

I only wish that my parents could come to terms with my homosexuality as you have regarding your son's. Unfortunately, it's been nearly 4 years now and they are still nowhere near even acknowledging it, let alone addressing it.

Saul David said...

Find a way for your parents to read this blog. Then I would be happy to speak with them either via email or phone. We can do this "off the grid."